Hello everyone,
Today is “Only Child Day” and since I am an only-child, I am going to attempt to explain the
psyche of someone like me. Normally, I would say there is nothing different between an only child and children with siblings. However, it wasn’t until more recently that I do think our psyches vary.
The most common questions that I, an only-child, gets are “Are you lonely?” and “You must be spoiled!" Both of these comments couldn’t be further from the truth. We are definitely not lonely; however, we may enjoy being alone more than the average person. I will speak for myself, but I do enjoy alone-time in just about all circumstances. Being an only-child teaches us how to entertain ourselves from a very young age. I was told (really my parents were told, Haha) I was a “happy baby/toddler for not having siblings to interact with." This comment is always interesting to me to think about as an adult now. Part of babies developing are letting them cry and calming themselves down or finding their hand or a rattle that distracts their attention. It is something we all learn no matter if we grow up in a large family or small family.
Now, this changes by your living situations, but I was always involved in sports from just three years old. Aside from my parents being big sports fans, they wanted me in “all the things” because I was an only-child. My mom, being that she was a social worker and guidance counselor, she knew these are some critical skills at a very impressionable age that I needed to socialize perhaps arguably more than the average child. I also have a lot of cousins around my age and older that at the time I was very connected to and saw quite often. Neighborhood friends my age were also a great help. I know these are not always an option or available resources for everyone; each situation is different.
Being in the psychology world, I often think about people’s psyches. I know! It sounds nerdy! I have recently noticed the way I think, handle, or process situations, particularly difficult occasions, are different then how people who have siblings react to the same or similar situations. I know this may sound crazy, but most people do not pay attention to these small minute details.
Catastrophizing is much more common in people who are only-children and I see this in myself all too often and much more compared to other people who grew up with siblings.
This is a topic that I could go on about, that I feel passionate about, and is difficult to convey the significance of. Hopefully you could get in the mind of an only-child as much as possible.
Good day,
Lauren Stauffer