Deployment Stress

Deployment is a stressful time for everyone involved in the service members life. This could include spouse, children, parents, siblings, grandparents, or friends (Bailey, 2019). Not only is there a physical absence but as well as a psychological toll that wears on the family and individuals while the service member is deployed. Being deployed is not easy on the service

member but as well as the family members who are at home for days or weeks at a time without hearing from the deployed officer (Meadows, 2017). While everyone in the service member’s life would be concerned about their safety while deployed, the family member that this deployment wears on the most is the spouse or significant other due to being the person who is the closest to the deployed service member life at the time.

The spouse is the one that is directly affected by the deployment of their significant other because they are the one that is with the service member daily, and they are involved in each other’s life more than anyone else at the time (Bailey, 2019). In addition, usually there are children involved which now leaves the one spouse at home to act as a single parent and pick up the slack of duties that was once shared. Often, this leads to multiple psychological effects for the spouse that is at home for many reasons. Common effects include anxiety, depression, and fear, to name a few (Meadows, 2017). These feelings are warranted and most definitely are due to the severity of the situation that you are entering, fear of the unknown, and knowing what your spouse is entering. It is understandable that you would be concerned about your spouse’s health and safety while deployed and that alone can cause a multitude of different feelings (Meadows, 2017). In addition, taking on the responsibilities that your spouse had is double the work and could account for the anxiety the spouse is feeling as well.

Having to pick up the extra work around the house and in daily life while the service

member is deployed adds to one’s workload and mental health by feeling the need or burden of having to keep life going smoothly and people are relying on you (Bailey, 2019). While usually the spouse has physical support with other family members and friends during this time, there are extra chores and responsibilities that are placed on the spouse during this time. In addition, if children are involved, there is even more responsibilities that need to be considered (Bailey, 2019). In short, anything that the service member around the house, with the children, or contributions to the house, still needs to be completed and it is now put on your shoulders for completion. For example, taking the kids to school, taking the trash out, not just doing the dishes but putting them away as well, upkeep on the outside lawn, are all only some of the responsibilities that are often left for the at-home spouse (Bailey, 2019).

The chores and responsibilities mentioned above are all reasons to feel the stressed, have

anxiety, and your mental health be compromised for the civilian spouse during the deployment of your partner (Bailey, 2019). It is acceptable to feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. It is important to have your feelings, concerns, and emotions validated and to know that these are common feelings to have and may come in a wave of mixture from time to time (Meadows, 2017). As the deployment date approaches, the anticipation can cause anxiety by the thought alone of one day soon having so much more on your plate is enough to cause stress. On a normal day while your spouse is at home, it is a common thought that there is not enough time in a day to accomplish all that you need to do is reality for a lot of people and yet there is two of you. So, to know you will have more work and the same amount of time in a day is stressful and anxiety ridden (Bailey, 2019).

With modern technology, it has helped greatly to make it easier to communicate with your deployed service member and spouse while they are overseas. It has been proven that any

form of communication helps to boost one’s morale and help improve mental and calm each

spouse’s mental stress or anxiety (Carter & Renshaw 2016). The “old” tricks are still very much valid and still useful in contacting and communicating. Writing letters is considered “old-fashioned” however, many spouses like to have letters to save and show to their kids, other family members, or as a keepsake (Carter & Renshaw, 2016). With letters sent to the service member, it is a small, lightweight keepsake for them as well and they can re-read them at any time they please. Since anything they receive must fit into the packs, cards or letters are easy to accomplish this (Carter & Renshaw, 2016). Often, the spouse includes pictures of their family and updates of what is going on in the family and milestones of their children (Carter & Renshaw, 2016). Having tangible letters are nice to receive so you can refer to them in times of sadness when you do not know when the next phone call is going to occur. In addition, letters are also nice for the service member to keep as well as pictures so they can look back at their connivence as well. Sending care packages is also a common form of communication. The service member is usually the only one that benefits from this form of communication since they cannot send anything back. However, it is an exciting activity for the spouse to do and possibly a fun way to get the kids involved as well. This is a chance for the service member to receive necessary essentials they might need such as hygiene products or a small treat (Carter & Renshaw, 2016). While those are all great methods as well, seeing each other’s face is a physical acknowledgment to reassure that one is safe. Lastly, zoom calls or facetime chats are the most common used form of communication recently. There is a quicker gratification and easier than sending a card or package. However, sometimes calling can be difficult to schedule. It is really at the convivence of the service member. There are only certain times they are allowed to call and

with the time difference, it could be in the middle of the night for the spouse (Carter & Renshaw, 2016). However, it is well worth it.

Having communication is utmost important for the spouse at home and the service member (Carter & Renshaw, 2016). This helps to pass time and give each other something to look forward to. While both parties have commitments and other responsibilities that are required of them to pass the time, it is not the same as looking forward to a phone call, letter, or package because it changes up the mundane of the day for everyone (Carter & Renshaw, 2016). Getting mail is one the biggest psychological boosters in while deployed and hearing back from your spouse in any capacity is both exciting and a relief. The best-case scenario is if a video call is going to take place, since there is only limited time and limited occurrence of this, that there are as many loved ones as possible there at the time that can be there to all be part of the video. It is also

important for the two spouses to have private conversations where no one else is involved due to checking in on each other, the kids, what they are missing, seeing how each other is doing, and then the spouse can report to all other family members with updates (Carter & Renshaw, 2016).

In conclusion, as well all know, being deployed takes a psychological toll on all parties involved. Specifically for the spouse, it is a difficult time with all aspects considered. With the

deployment of their spouse or significant other, this adds double the responsibility in all areas of life. There are support groups and resources available to help the at-home spouse both in a psychological way as well as providing them with ways of getting involved in other activities

specific for them. Making time for themselves is important as well. It makes it easier on the

spouse with involved family members and friends however, not everyone has local family or

support like that, so it is vital to plan as soon as the service member has their information.

-Lauren Stauffer